You know it's serious if I'm willing to post such a flattering picture of myself in order to solve this problem. I'm officially fed up with shaving. Look at that bloody neck! Just wait until tomorrow, when the blood is gone but it's replaced with what look like giant zits. My face was just not built for shaving.
But shave I must. I have tried lots of solutions. I used to use an electric razor. In college, it actually worked. I don't think my facial hair was as coarse back then, and I also don't think I was ever actually all that cleanly shaven. I've tried an electric razor again recently and it just doesn't cut it. But I have constant razor bumps on my neck, and every time I shave with a regular razor, those bumps become spots of blood which become even bigger, uglier bumps. And I'm serious - I've tried everything! I shaved in the shower for a while. A little better, but not much. For the last couple of years, I actually shave in the bathtub, which is a little better but wastes so much time and water and is just silly. I've tried lots of different shaving creams. I've tried bump-be-gone after shaves. I have avoided shaving against the grain. I've tried shaving slowly and methodically, and I've tried shaving fast and furious. But no matter what ... this is the result.
It's times like this that I wish I had a larger blog readership. I think I'm going to need lots and lots of advice before I solve this problem, and I just don't think I have enough blog readers to offer that advice. But let's try it anyway. Guys, how do you shave? What works for you? Surely some of you have dealt with this! I have resorted to shaving every three or four days recently in order to give my face a few days to recuperate, but I don't really think I should have to spend the rest of my life looking sloppy 75% of the time and looking like a vampire victim the other 25%. This must end! What can I do?!